


Breaking at the Cracks

by six



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Heterosexual Sex, M/M, Non-Consensual, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Underage Sex, please don't read if you trigger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-22 00:00:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/906498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/six/pseuds/six
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has suffered for as long as he can remember at the hands of his step-mother. When he's eighteen he gets himself out of there and goes off to Varsity, because what else can he do? He meets Harry, someone he begins to love. The problem is Harry loves him in a different way, and Louis doesn't know if he can love Harry that way back.</p><p>It takes Louis a long time, but Harry eventually finds out what happened. They then try and work together through Louis' problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on some real experiences. It is probably quite triggering. Please don't read it if it will cause you pain. Also I do not pretend to own any members of One Direction, nor do I regard any of what's written here as fact.

The first time it happens Louis is five years old. He has never come across a closed door and not been curious, so when he finds his parents’ one, on a day when his step-mother is supposed to be looking after him, he goes right in.

“Ohhh, right there. Unf, mmm…” Louis hears.

“What’re you doing?” he asks.

The noises cut off abruptly.

“Louis dear, why don’t you come over here.”

He walks over to the side of the bed, noticing that she’s not wearing a shirt. She pulls one of her hands out from under the sheets and reaches out to him.

“Do you want to play a game, Lou?”

“What sort of game?”

“Well, you just sit on Mummy’s tummy and help her out.”

“Sounds boring,” Louis says. But he still gets on the bed.  
Louis looks at his step-mother’s face. She doesn’t look that different to normal, but for some reason she’s breathing rather deeply.  
“Now what?” Louis asks.

“You just sit there, hun. Mummy’s going to get off.”

Louis doesn’t know what this means, but he feels her move under him and then she starts moaning and he really wants to know what she’s doing under the blanket. He moves to turn around, but Mummy stops him.

“Look me in the eyes, love.”

“Mummy, what-“ he’s cut off by his step-mum shouting out her release.

She’s done; head arched back and eyes closed so that Louis loses sight of her eyes. She’s shuddering under his legs, whole body trembling like she’s cold. So Louis leans forward and gives her a hug.

He feels her hug him back, both arms coming out from under the bedding. One of her hands is sticky where it’s stroking his bare back under his t-shirt.  
“Can I go play outside now?” Louis asks. He isn't sure what just happened, but he feels rather uncomfortable.

“In a minute Lou.”

The second time it happens, Louis gets called into the room. He knows from last time he doesn't particularly want to go in when his step-mum's alone, but his dad had left for the weekend telling him to behave for his mum so…

He opens the door slowly. What he sees freeze’s him where he’s standing.


	2. Chapter 2

Louis recalls wanting to know what had been going on under the blanket the first time. But now that he knows he longs for a time he was ignorant. 

Five-year-old Louis knows intrinsically that what his step mum wants to do to him is wrong. He doesn't know what exactly she’s doing, just that it’s wrong.

After the first few times in which Louis had been made to just be present whilst she gets off; either sitting on her as she does or watching as she fingers/thrusts various toys into/rubs herself, she’d started getting Louis to undress as well.  
And then she’d started trying to get him hard.

This was biologically impossible, but that did not stop her from trying, nor prevent her from punishing Louis for his failure to perform. He’d gone without dinner for a whole week that time his dad had been away in London for work.

Because of the inherent feelings of wrongness Louis had been getting during alone time with his step mum, he’d thought he should let some adult figure know what had been going on, and then it would be their problem. So after two months of sexual abuse Louis had told his dad.

Admittedly Louis could have said it better. But surely when your five year old son tells you something implying abuse especially sexual (he’s five he shouldn't know anything about sex!) you should look into it?

His step mum had been working late for once and Louis and his dad were sitting eating dinner in front of the telly. Football was on: Arsenal vs Chelsea.  
During half time adverts Louis had gone to the kitchen to fetch another beer from the fridge for his dad and a glass of milk for himself. Setting them down on coasters on the coffee table, Louis had turned to his dad and said: “Sometimes mum ‘gets off’ by touching me.”

His dad hadn't even taken his eyes off the television ads to reply, “You wish, son.”

Louis puts it down to not even knowing what ‘getting off’ had meant himself so of course his dad would have assumed he’d meant something else or maybe it wasn't as wrong as he’d thought? In any case Louis decides then and there never to try telling anyone again. He’d have to deal with this himself. He actually feels himself mature mentally by making that resolution.

The first time his step mum actually explains any of what they’re doing together to him is months after Louis had attempted to tell his father. Louis’ almost six; they’re having an awesome pirate themed party, but a week earlier as most of his friends will be away for the holidays. The three of them are actually going away too; down to London to see about a job offer for his dad and them possibly moving there permanently.

Louis is hungry so he ditches his friends to go home and get a snack. He's in the kitchen making a sandwich out of random ingredients he'd pulled out of the fridge when his step mum confronts him. Louis is startled to the point he actually drops the butter knife, narrowly missing impaling his own foot.

"Yikes! Sorry Louis, I didn't mean to scare you. I just thought we should have a chat about... you know, our special games." She attempts to reassure Louis with a smile, seeing as he'd backed up against the fridge, when she bends down to pick up the knife. His step mum pats his hair as she moves past to the sink.  
"Have a seat at the bar and I'll finish making this for you."

Louis is reluctant but like with any of the time's they've had their 'playtime' he doesn't refuse.  
He doesn't meet his step mum's eyes though. Keeps his own fixed firmly on the avocado being spread on the bread. Goes as far as to ask for the unused half so he has something to do with his hands.

"Of course, Boo." She sprinkles some sugar over the top before handing it and a teaspoon over.

"Now I should probably first ask how much you know about sex?"

"Is that what you and dad do because you love each other?" Louis asks. He's not sure what 'sex' is but he's heard the word a few times on the telly and at school from some of the kids. One kid at school, who was constantly looking for Louis' approval, God knows why, had said something about same-sex marriage's being wrong and that it, being sex, was only supposed to be between a mummy an a daddy.

"Oh honey. Sex has nothing to do with love. It's about feeling good. And that's why since your dad no longer makes me feel good I've been trying to have it with you."

Louis doesn't, but if he'd been brave he would've said something now about how they weren't married and hence should not be having this sex.

"The way sex works is, well you've seen some of mummy's toys right? Well they're quite solid or hard, like when you're old enough your penis will become the same. It's like mummy's been trying to get you, and mummy may have got a little bit mad about it not working, but I don't want you to worry about that now okay?"

Louis nods, biting his lip to stop himself asking why she'd even tried. He knows he's like way younger than his dad. He knows that what his mum is saying is that he isn't old enough to be having sex. He knows that she shouldn't be trying to have it with him. There's a reason he always feels like it's wrong.

"What you need to know Louis, is that one day your penis will become hard on it's own. And it will probably happen when you're sleeping and you might wake up having made a mess. I don't want you to be scared when it does, that's natural, but it is a waste of an erection so you've got to tell mummy when it happens and then we can make use of future ones." She's finished making his sandwich and she starts cleaning up.

She comes around the breakfast bar to take his avocado skin and spoon off him, pausing whilst holding his hands till Louis looks up. "We're going to have to make do with other kinds of sex till you get hard for the first time. I'm going to explain everything we do, I know I haven't before, but your father told me what you said to him and that was because you didn't know better right?"

Louis nods. He feels powerless like they are now. His step mums hands encompassing his own. Even as he sits on the bar stool she's much bigger than him.

She lets go and moves to the sink. "Good, now enjoy your sandwich and then head back out to play, dinner'll be at six."

Louis takes the plate out to the porch. He's thinking about how he'd tried to confide in his dad. It had gotten back to his mum. And also about what she means by other kinds of sex, not to mention that he still doesn't know exactly what it is. If he asks questions at school that might raise suspicions, and get him in trouble.

He takes a bite. He's just going to have to wait and see what she tries next.


End file.
